THIS WEBSITE IS RATEDRFOR PERVASIVE LANGUAGE, PARTY VIOLENCE & JONRICH CONTENT
HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY TO
CEO OF BULLSHIT
100% THAT BITCH

JONBITCH

A deeply unnecessary digital monument to Jonrich “JR” Corpuz—friend, menace, birthday slut.

READ HIS FILE
PARTY THREAT LEVELMildly feral
CONFIDENTIAL / LEAKED

ANNUAL BITCH PERFORMANCE REVIEW

Conducted by an independent panel of haters, lovers, and people who've had to wait for JR to get ready.

CORE COMPETENCYBeing louder than the problem
666%

EXCEEDS THERAPIST EXPECTATIONS

TEAM IMPACTEmotional support liability
10/10

WOULD ENABLE AGAIN

RISK ASSESSMENT“One more drink” probability
99.9%

DO NOT GIVE HIM THE AUX

LIVE FROM THE HATERATION LAB

ROAST
THIS BITCH

Scientifically formulated insults. Absolutely no refunds, apologies, or meaningful personal growth.

OFFICIAL ROAST #1“Built like a premium subscription nobody remembers signing up for.”— The Jonbitch Ethics Committee
Okay, one sincere-ish thing…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YOU MAGNIFICENT ASSHOLE.

May your bank account get obscene, your enemies lose Wi-Fi, your hangovers serve shorter sentences, and your ass look incredible in every accidental photo. You're loved an honestly irresponsible amount, JR.

WITH DISRESPECT & AFFECTION,YOUR FAVORITE ENABLERS